January 5, 2010

Today, we both got up late. I don't know what it is with us right now. I guess we are just tired from the holidays! I love the way Conner looks when he's eating. So innocent and precious. Right now he is watching "Meet the Robinsons" and he loves it. I'm personally sick of it, but if that is what he wants to watch all of the time, I'll deal with it. Childhood is all about being happy, right? And I will do everything I can to make sure that my little man's childhood is a happy one. He's been getting into trouble, of course, because daddy's desk has been set up in the living room and he wants to get into everything. He has to learn that he can't touch anything on the desk. Daddy's computer costs a lot of money and is arriving in two days. It would be bad if we had to spend that money again to get a new computer! One is plenty, for now. Daddy is going to school for computer programing and gaming. I don't know what he wants to do. My path is set. I am going to teach High School English. It is a dream of mine that I am slowly watching come true. Sadly, I am watching my dream of earning a Master's Degree go down the drain. I can't afford to go to school for a Master's because grants do not cover past a Bachelor's degree. All of our money has to go to make the house the right home for our little boy. He's growing so fast! He learned to say "cracker" yesterday. Last week he actually attempted "Uncle Daniel," but it came out a little baby-ish: "unul annul." He loves his Uncle Daniel and his Paw-paw. Grandma is now known around the house as "Bup," but it works. Lucky for me, our new roommate, Alyssa, is also a mom, and she is great with Conner. He warmed up to her quickly, which is something he doesn't normally do. I guess that means that she is a really good person, which I could have told you easily before she even met Conner.

He's nearing 18 months. The closer we get to that day, the more my heart breaks. I can't even imagine how my parents feel, seeing their oldest with a baby of her own. They tell me that there is nothing like being a grandparent. I can't believe them at the moment, because to me, there is nothing like being a parent, but someday, Lord willing, I will be there to feel what it is like to be a grandmother. Until then, I am going to enjoy every moment with my son that I possibly can. Even his tantrums are worth it. I watch him throwing fits everyday, and sometimes they may get a little aggrivating, but even still, they are a part of his growth, and I will enjoy them to the fullest. Too many times have I been told to enjoy this process, and I have taken that advice to heart. I will enjoy every moment that the good Lord has blessed me with my son. He is learning words so quickly. I can't even make a list of his growing vocabulary anymore. He talks more than he does anything. I will walk into the room just to hear him talking to himself, about nothing in particular. It's adorable, and I love it. Every morning, when I wake up, I lay in bed just to listen to him talking and playing in his crib, until he decides he's had enough "crib time" and knocks on the wall to let me know he is ready to get up. I love listening to him. His blabbering and incoherent words are just amazing. Listening to what he said last month change to an actual word this month just blows my mind. I have always wondered what it was like to learn to talk, and now I am getting to watch my son learn. Daddy works on words with him everyday, while I try to teach him other things, like his colors. He learned "blue" the other day, and yesterday he learned "yellow," but it come out more like "yeyow." At least he knows what color it is! This is probably an achievement I should share with Daddy. I'm really bad at not sharing his milestones with the family. I don't know why I don't think about them all the time; they are so amazing!

As I sit here, I think about when he was a little baby. He's not that baby anymore; he is a little man who could easily pass for a toddler, even though he is not quite there in age. I look forward to more milestone, but hope that they do not come too fast. He may be the only baby I have, and I don't want it to be over.