Hungry

Well, the food lately has been in short supply. Every time I go to eat something, my son decides he is hungry too. Of course, being Mom, I give him the majority of my meal. The fact that he eats some of everyone’s meals is causing our grocery bill to double. I don’t really have that kind of money, so usually, I will not eat until Conner goes to bed. This leaves me feeling hungry all of the time. I cannot stand the empty feeling in my stomach, but I am trying desperately to save what little money comes in. I even went as far as to try to change my cell phone plan. However, I did not get to save as much as I had wished. I changed the overall plan, but I wanted to remove the data plan on my phone, because I don’t use it; however, my phone is a smartphone, so I had no choice but to keep it. I don’t like that. I don’t want unlimited data on my phone. I don’t want to spend the extra thirty dollars a month on it, especially since I don’t use it.

Because money is tight, I am even trying to get us TANF. I am sure we qualify, but so far, our case worker has not been in the office and when she was she told me that TANF has to be paid back. I find this hard to believe, simply because it is government aid, not a loan! And our family needs the aid. Not excessive aid, but every little bit helps…as it does in most households.

On to happier topics, our friend, Brenda, has a little girl, Aeva, and I cannot wait until Conner is home again. I told Brenda last night that I needed to bring Conner by so that the two children could play together. Neither Brenda nor myself are really the “buddy-buddy” kind of people, but it would be nice for Conner to have a friend. And Brenda and I are already friends, just not in the “girls-always-go-to-the-bathroom-together” kind of way. It’s not true by the way, that girls go to the bathroom together, because these two girls do not! Anyway, Conner got a duplicate for Christmas, and we figure that Aeva would love the second one, seeing as she is only a little older than Conner. We love this family. Granted they are not the families that I see my parents spending time with, but she is Christian, Catholic actually, and he is a firefighter, so automatically you can see where they are a good family. We love them as if they were our own family. We spend time with them, normally every weekend, and talk. The sad thing is that I always send Conner to Paw-paw’s, and Aeva is always at home, so I have met Aeva, but they have never met Conner; thus is the reason I cannot wait until he gets home. I hope to get over to Brenda’s sometime this week and let the children have a “play-date” although I would never call it that.

Right now, Daddy is working. On Saturday. I don’t like when he works, but what can I say. The extra money is great! Anyway, I am waiting for him to come home so that we can get over to our WIC appointment and then to Brenda’s. He introduced me to Brenda, mostly because his friend Ryan introduced them. If it wasn’t for Brenda, I don’t know how I would feel in this group. I’m not going to lie, this group is the kind of group that my parents refused to let me spend time with growing up. It’s not that they are bad people, but they do things that my parents would not and still do not approve of; well, I hate to admit it, but I am one of the people that my parents did and do not like. Oh well, I am old enough now to deal with the problems myself, and to know that kind of behavior is unacceptable around my child. I have to live sometime! But never around Conner. Never! I don’t allow it. I never will. And when he gets to that age, I won’t let him “hang” with these kind of people either. I have to say “Thanks” to my parents, simply because they raised me a thousand times better than they really needed to, and a million times better than most parents raise their children. At least I know how to behave when I have children of my own. I am not like an ex-boyfriend of mine and his parents. I don’t ask my fifteen year old son to come pick me up because I am too drunk to drive! That, and other actions like it, are completely unacceptable, and those people should never have had children!