Well, school was let out a week or so ago, and now I have nothing to fill my time. Only a couple nights ago I was in the biggest cleaning mood that I think I have ever been in: I cleaned the kitchen with vinegar and water, on my hands and knees, scrubbing every lousy stain off of the floor. I did the same to the dining room and I actually removed the paint stains that have been there since we redid the dining room a year and a half ago. I also got the paint stains from the previous owner's of the house off of the floor! I was amazed that something so cheap and chemical free would remove something like that! I love that my kitchen/dining is so clean now...it has never been this deeply cleaned before as far as I know. I did the same procedure in the bathroom, with every hard surface: the tub, the sink, the toilet, the floor and even the walls. Sadly, I forgot about the entryway, so it's not clean. I did several loads of dishes, as well as washed many of them by hand just for the sake of doing something. I even did three loads of laundry on top of finishing the seven I already had started. I emptied out the spare bedroom, so now there is nothing (visible) in there except for the furniture and the little nick-nacks that finish off the look of the room. I need to empty out my bedroom, but with all of Daddy's stuff in there, I don't think it is ever going to happen; it's bad enough that I have to live with and look at the stuff everyday...I really don't want to go through it just to find out that none of it works! I really need a vacation. I also went through Conner's closet and got rid of several outfits that were too small and made room for all of the big boy clothes that we have now. I even left a space open for our new pull-ups. My baby's getting so big! I even cleaned out my closet. Granted, I did not get rid of anything, but I did remove several things from it so that I could have "more" hangers. My house is nearly spotless. I only wish that I could keep it that way, but with two boys, it is never going to happen.
Today I went shopping. I didn't waste any money, but I bought several things that I know we will use but don't necessarily need. I bought Conner his first package of pull-ups, which we will use on occasion while we go through potty training. I even bought some more vinegar so that I can try to keep the stove top clean: I never thought I would get the burned on food off of it, but I just left some vinegar to soak on it and came back to scrub. I scrub just as much as I do when I use Fantastic, but the vinegar removed nearly 99% more than the chemicals did! I was amazed! I will now not buy unnecessary chemicals: I will use vinegar and water! It is so much cheaper and a thousand times healthier for my little man. I also bought more diapers. They have a new package now that is only 5 dollars more but the box has nearly double the amount of diapers in it. I was thrilled! I also bought some S.O.S pads, but they weren't what I wanted, so I don't know what I am going to do. I think I should return them, but now that they are opened, I am not sure Wal-Mart will let me. I also bought a new OxiClean product. Apparently, Daddy uses an entire tub of OxiClean on only 15 loads of his laundry. Mommy is putting a stop to this. I bought these little OxiClean packets that have just enough detergent in them, and for even less than half of the price of a tub of OxiClean, I got ten packets! That means that I will have to buy four of the packet bags, giving me 40 loads, in order to exceed the price of the tub, giving me only 15! I love saving money!
I also decided that I need new gardening supplies. My rake is broken, and I tried to buy a new one, but Daddy put it back on the rack and I didn't notice until we got home and I went looking for it. He did buy me something; I can't remember what it is called, but I can guarantee that it does not get the job done! I also need to buy more plants because the homegrown ones didn't live long enouht to be transplanted. Growing plants in our dining room right before spring was not the best idea. We tried to keep them alive and healthy, but then I had a Botany project that I used them for. I lugged all of the plants to school and then back and I think it sent the roots into shock, so shortly thereafter, all of them were dead. I did plant more seeds though, and we will see what happens. I guess I better go pick up my little man right now. It is nearly 4 and that is when I am normally already there.
God Bless America.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Obama: History in the Making
Ok, I know that Obama is our President, and I will respect him if for no other reason. However, I cannot stand by and watch our government and its history go down the toilet. Obama is going to be in the history books as long as our society is to exist, but I have to say this: He should NOT be! I understand that he is the first black president to be elected into office, and I understand that he is making our counrty go to shit (pardon the french), but the former is no reason to put him automatically into the history books; the latter is proof of that! Just look what he is doing to a country (a great country) that was already falling into the john; he just pushes us farther and farther in! I have to say that I am not much for politics: actually, I can't stand them and I see no reason for them to exist, but they do. I do not understand the "fancy" terms that these greedy and corupt politicians use, and I feel no need to know; I don't listen anyway. But I have to say, that if Obama leads our country down this road much longer, much farther, we will be in such trouble that we will have to sell the entire country to China! They own enough of us as it is! Why are we just sitting by watching it happen? I don't know about you, but I dream of the All-American family: My husband, me and our TWO children, raising them the best way we know how, and growing old together with our FOUR grandchildren. I want that! I do not want to be owned by a government who placed reproductive restrictions on its people. Granted, I do not yet have that second little baby, but I want her; more than I care to admit. I want that happy family, and if Obama puts us deeper into this whole of dung, I am not sure I would fulfill this dream. I don't want to bring another child into this world if I cannot give her the life that I want her to have; Obama is making this dream a fantasy! He should not be put in our History books except for the fact that he was president (hopefully for only one term). I think, I hope, and I pray that our country has realized its mistake about electing such a horrid leader. Maybe next time, they will not be so eager to elect someone because of his/her skin color! Ironically, this is the true reason Obama was elected. His politics suck, his words are heavily bought, and his ideas are crap! And yet, he was elected to rule a country that he does not have the strength or the balls to run! (Sorry: I get a little foul and vulgar when I am upset) He is trying, and I will give him that, but honestly, I would have rather had Hillary in office over this vulture. All he is doing is sitting back in that White House on the hill, watching his country go to pot. Maybe he is doing it on purpose? For all we know, HE could be a terrorist! We do not know anything about him and his life except that which the government feels it is "safe" or "necessary" to let us know! Hell, for that matter, maybe all government officials are terrorists! I don't know! But back to my original purpose: just because Obama is black is no reason to put him up on a pedestal for the generations to come to this country. Heck, if we as a country want equallity, for all men, women, white, black, asian, whatever...maybe we need to consider the fact that there are bad sides to it! And not getting fame and fortune for reaching a point that 35 or so other people have reached is one of them! As to Obama himself...He can kiss my little white tookus!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Simple Statement
"True Education Liberates." - Paulo Freire
"The idea that the school must undertake to meet every need that some other agency is failing to meet, regardless of the suitability of the schoolroom to the task, is a preposterous delusion that in the end can wreck the educational system." - Arthur Bestor
"The nation piled socail policy upon educational policy and all of them on top of the delusion that a single institution can do it all." - Ernest Boyer
"The idea that the school must undertake to meet every need that some other agency is failing to meet, regardless of the suitability of the schoolroom to the task, is a preposterous delusion that in the end can wreck the educational system." - Arthur Bestor
"The nation piled socail policy upon educational policy and all of them on top of the delusion that a single institution can do it all." - Ernest Boyer
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sick
Today, I feel a little ill. I think it has something to do with getting up and drinking coffee before eating anything. The caffine really messes with my stomach, and on an empty stomach, it may make me feel a little sick. It may also be that I am a little nervous about the semester starting. After all, I am taking really hard classes, and I am taking several of them. I have never really taken hard classes before. Who knows, maybe they won't be as hard as I am imagining them to be.
The last of Alyssa's things are ready to be loaded. Her daughter has come home now, and both of them seem so happy. I am trying to find them a house. They are currently renting and paying way too much. Of course Alyssa has found another house for them to rent that is less than half of what they are currently paying. The thing is that I hate to see her throwing money away. I am searching for a house in Borger that has three bedrooms, a large living room and kitchen, and I want it to have a least 1 and a half bathrooms, but Alyssa doesn't really care if it only has one. I, however, know what it feels like to have to wait on someone for LONG periods of time. (If I have to use the bathroom in the morning, I have to make sure to get up before Daddy. Sometimes, Daddy doesn't need the bathroom in the morning, but when he does, he usually reads or messes with his phone and loses track of time.) I have actually already grown very fond of Ciara (pronounced Kyra), even though little kids drive me insane. She is cute too and just like her mother. She eats constantly and in big quantities. That's alright though; Alyssa is reimbersing us for the food she ate while here. I feel great about it. I actully hate to see her go. Anyway, I don't mind how much she ate if she is going to replace or pay for it. The problem right now is that we have, literally, no food in the house. What we have you can't really eat by itself. We have a little bit of frozen meat, hamburger helper (spaghetti) with no hamburger meat (oops), milk for Conner, burritos that you have to eat with cheese and/or ranch (which we have neither), tator tots and fries (which don't really make a meal for anyone besides Alyssa and Daddy), and condiments. We have some poptarts for Conner's breakfast as well as a little cereal, but other than that, its ramen noodles and mac-and-cheese all the way. We have been living off of that for the last two weeks. I have to admit I feel like I have taken a step back...three years back (that is what Daddy and I lived off of when we first got married).
Anyway, school starts tomorrow, like I have already said. I am a little sad to leave my baby again. He is growing up so fast, and now I don't get to enjoy time with him. The time I will have with him will be short, and even then he will be eating or sleeping. The only days I have with him will be Thursday and part of Friday. Sundays I will have him for the evening, but other than that, our time together will be sporatic. So sad. I still haven't found daycare. No one in Borger has an opening. I hate that. I have to leave him with Daddy's grandparents, and they are getting to old to keep up with an active child; and he is very active (I have a hard time keeping up)! My schedule is going to be crazy this semester. I am hoping to find child care soon. I need to substitute! And unless Pawpaw and Gam'ma want to keep him an extra day every now and then, I can't. Plus, that would mean that I lose another day with my baby. The problem is that I need to substitute in order to keep the job that I love! But I love my baby too! I just don't know what to do. I need to keep the job so that my baby's future will be a little brighter, but I am losing precious moments with him...and these are the moments I don't want to lose. You can see my delima!
This talk is depressing me.
The last of Alyssa's things are ready to be loaded. Her daughter has come home now, and both of them seem so happy. I am trying to find them a house. They are currently renting and paying way too much. Of course Alyssa has found another house for them to rent that is less than half of what they are currently paying. The thing is that I hate to see her throwing money away. I am searching for a house in Borger that has three bedrooms, a large living room and kitchen, and I want it to have a least 1 and a half bathrooms, but Alyssa doesn't really care if it only has one. I, however, know what it feels like to have to wait on someone for LONG periods of time. (If I have to use the bathroom in the morning, I have to make sure to get up before Daddy. Sometimes, Daddy doesn't need the bathroom in the morning, but when he does, he usually reads or messes with his phone and loses track of time.) I have actually already grown very fond of Ciara (pronounced Kyra), even though little kids drive me insane. She is cute too and just like her mother. She eats constantly and in big quantities. That's alright though; Alyssa is reimbersing us for the food she ate while here. I feel great about it. I actully hate to see her go. Anyway, I don't mind how much she ate if she is going to replace or pay for it. The problem right now is that we have, literally, no food in the house. What we have you can't really eat by itself. We have a little bit of frozen meat, hamburger helper (spaghetti) with no hamburger meat (oops), milk for Conner, burritos that you have to eat with cheese and/or ranch (which we have neither), tator tots and fries (which don't really make a meal for anyone besides Alyssa and Daddy), and condiments. We have some poptarts for Conner's breakfast as well as a little cereal, but other than that, its ramen noodles and mac-and-cheese all the way. We have been living off of that for the last two weeks. I have to admit I feel like I have taken a step back...three years back (that is what Daddy and I lived off of when we first got married).
Anyway, school starts tomorrow, like I have already said. I am a little sad to leave my baby again. He is growing up so fast, and now I don't get to enjoy time with him. The time I will have with him will be short, and even then he will be eating or sleeping. The only days I have with him will be Thursday and part of Friday. Sundays I will have him for the evening, but other than that, our time together will be sporatic. So sad. I still haven't found daycare. No one in Borger has an opening. I hate that. I have to leave him with Daddy's grandparents, and they are getting to old to keep up with an active child; and he is very active (I have a hard time keeping up)! My schedule is going to be crazy this semester. I am hoping to find child care soon. I need to substitute! And unless Pawpaw and Gam'ma want to keep him an extra day every now and then, I can't. Plus, that would mean that I lose another day with my baby. The problem is that I need to substitute in order to keep the job that I love! But I love my baby too! I just don't know what to do. I need to keep the job so that my baby's future will be a little brighter, but I am losing precious moments with him...and these are the moments I don't want to lose. You can see my delima!
This talk is depressing me.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Young Stupidity
The feeling inside
Is more than I can take
I don't want to feel this way
But Daddy was the stupid one
All I want to do is cry
His weekend problem has hurt me
And he doesn't seem to understand
I indulge a little
He indulges a lot
He has so much
I have very little
I'm sitting here
He's passed out in the bedroom
My home smells of food mixed with alcohol
There is a dead bug in the bathroom
I am all alone
And I want someone to care
I need the feeling of love
But no one is around
There are plenty there
But none are here
He acts like a child
I have to be the adult
I grew up to fast
So I guess this is what I get
I wish he would listen to me
But all he wants to do is be twenty-two
I want him to grow up
I want him to realize that he isn't the only one
Our son is suffering
Why does he not see that
He tells me that he only wants me to understand
But I can't understand if he never talks
He says he had a bad day
What made the day bad
I ask him many times
And he chooses to ignore me
I head home upset
He gets mad that I don't care
He doesn't realize that I do care
But I can't act thrilled with his behavior
It is moments like this I wish I had listened to my parents
It is when I wish it was all over
I don't want in this anymore
I only want out
My day is perfect
Until I get home
There I can't seem to do anything right
Trash and dishes cover the living room
School all day
Work after
Coming home I crawl in bed
In the morning I am in trouble
So I am told
Why can't I take care of my home
Why is it always trashed
He has done so much for me
I have done plenty for him too
I know that it never ends
But why must I be treated like this
I just want to lock myself up
I want to cry
These are the moments I wish I didn't love him
I shouldn't have these feelings
I love him so much
But why
What does he do for me
Does he realize what I do for him
He doesn't act like it
I don't want those old feelings to come back
I need help but can't find it
All of my hobbies are cause for laughter
I am the joke of the group
I am the baby
Hating it only fuels the flame
The flame that needs to die
These "friends" need to disappear
They are not friends
If they are making him feel this way
I wish we had never met them
I can't wait until he grows up
I want this to work
But at his metal age
It's not going to
Is more than I can take
I don't want to feel this way
But Daddy was the stupid one
All I want to do is cry
His weekend problem has hurt me
And he doesn't seem to understand
I indulge a little
He indulges a lot
He has so much
I have very little
I'm sitting here
He's passed out in the bedroom
My home smells of food mixed with alcohol
There is a dead bug in the bathroom
I am all alone
And I want someone to care
I need the feeling of love
But no one is around
There are plenty there
But none are here
He acts like a child
I have to be the adult
I grew up to fast
So I guess this is what I get
I wish he would listen to me
But all he wants to do is be twenty-two
I want him to grow up
I want him to realize that he isn't the only one
Our son is suffering
Why does he not see that
He tells me that he only wants me to understand
But I can't understand if he never talks
He says he had a bad day
What made the day bad
I ask him many times
And he chooses to ignore me
I head home upset
He gets mad that I don't care
He doesn't realize that I do care
But I can't act thrilled with his behavior
It is moments like this I wish I had listened to my parents
It is when I wish it was all over
I don't want in this anymore
I only want out
My day is perfect
Until I get home
There I can't seem to do anything right
Trash and dishes cover the living room
School all day
Work after
Coming home I crawl in bed
In the morning I am in trouble
So I am told
Why can't I take care of my home
Why is it always trashed
He has done so much for me
I have done plenty for him too
I know that it never ends
But why must I be treated like this
I just want to lock myself up
I want to cry
These are the moments I wish I didn't love him
I shouldn't have these feelings
I love him so much
But why
What does he do for me
Does he realize what I do for him
He doesn't act like it
I don't want those old feelings to come back
I need help but can't find it
All of my hobbies are cause for laughter
I am the joke of the group
I am the baby
Hating it only fuels the flame
The flame that needs to die
These "friends" need to disappear
They are not friends
If they are making him feel this way
I wish we had never met them
I can't wait until he grows up
I want this to work
But at his metal age
It's not going to
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Gilmore Girls Rant
Well, I have to admit that I am absolutely upset about the Gilmore Girls ending. I know I started this yesterday, but I need to talk about Conner yesterday. Today...it's all Gilmore Girls.
I love Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel. They create such a feeling when you watch them that no one can help but love them. I honestly think that in Alexis's new movie, Post Grad, Lauren Graham should have been cast as her mother. I am assuming that the lady (who also plays the "evil stepmother" in Another Cindarella Story) is supposedly her mother, but that is just not right. I cannot picture one without the other anymore. I love nearly every episode; why did they ever end the show? I don't like it! I want the girls back! I am lacking two seasons, and I don't like the fact that I can watch all the way through season three, but I can't watch 4 or 5, but then I can jump to 6 and 7. I'm currently upset. We need something; we need to know what happened to the Gilmore Girls. People call me crazy for caring, because they are not real people, but I grew to love the story. I want to see Sookie's third baby. I want to know what happens between Lorelai and Luke. I want to know where Rory's career takes her. I want to know if Rory and Logan get back together. I want to know...everything! Do Luke and Lorelai finally realize that they were meant to be and get married? Does Rory realize that Logan was meant for her, admit her mistake, and try to get him back? How was Rory's trip following Obama? Did it end when he started his (hopefully short) career as President? Where did she go? Does she ever get hired by the New York Times? What happens to Lane and Zach's sons? What happens with Dean? What about Jess? Does he sell a lot of copies of his book? What about April? Where does she end up going to college? Speaking of April...did anyone realize that Anna is also Jess's father's girlfriend out in California in Season 3? Anyway, what happens with Paris and Doyle? Do they get married? Does Paris become a surgen? Or does she change her mind and go to law school? Does she get both degrees? What happens to Richard? Does he live much longer? After all, he's had two heart attacks. What about Emily? Does she ever learn how to work a computer? What of Christopher? And Georgia (aka Gigi)? Do they ever get back in touch with the Gilmores? What about the Dragonfly? Does Lorelai take her mother's advice and add a spa or tennis courts (I doubt it, but I still want to know)? So many questions! And I have more, I just feel like moving on.
Personally, I think Rory, even as a character, was stupid for turning Logan away. I don't care that Lorelai tells her that someday she will meet someone and won't want to hesitate; she should have married Logan. Did they not have enough episodes left to pull off a wedding? Maybe not, but even still, they should have added something to the end that told us what happened to everyone and where their lives led them. Short and sweet if they wanted, but I want to know what happened to them. Even though, if they were real, they wouldn't have lived their lives yet, at least not to the end. After all, it has only been a couple of years since the show ended.
Well, I have ranted enough for now. I'll rant more later. Right now I need to go get Conner out of his high-chair...I don't think he's eating anymore...just playing.
I love Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel. They create such a feeling when you watch them that no one can help but love them. I honestly think that in Alexis's new movie, Post Grad, Lauren Graham should have been cast as her mother. I am assuming that the lady (who also plays the "evil stepmother" in Another Cindarella Story) is supposedly her mother, but that is just not right. I cannot picture one without the other anymore. I love nearly every episode; why did they ever end the show? I don't like it! I want the girls back! I am lacking two seasons, and I don't like the fact that I can watch all the way through season three, but I can't watch 4 or 5, but then I can jump to 6 and 7. I'm currently upset. We need something; we need to know what happened to the Gilmore Girls. People call me crazy for caring, because they are not real people, but I grew to love the story. I want to see Sookie's third baby. I want to know what happens between Lorelai and Luke. I want to know where Rory's career takes her. I want to know if Rory and Logan get back together. I want to know...everything! Do Luke and Lorelai finally realize that they were meant to be and get married? Does Rory realize that Logan was meant for her, admit her mistake, and try to get him back? How was Rory's trip following Obama? Did it end when he started his (hopefully short) career as President? Where did she go? Does she ever get hired by the New York Times? What happens to Lane and Zach's sons? What happens with Dean? What about Jess? Does he sell a lot of copies of his book? What about April? Where does she end up going to college? Speaking of April...did anyone realize that Anna is also Jess's father's girlfriend out in California in Season 3? Anyway, what happens with Paris and Doyle? Do they get married? Does Paris become a surgen? Or does she change her mind and go to law school? Does she get both degrees? What happens to Richard? Does he live much longer? After all, he's had two heart attacks. What about Emily? Does she ever learn how to work a computer? What of Christopher? And Georgia (aka Gigi)? Do they ever get back in touch with the Gilmores? What about the Dragonfly? Does Lorelai take her mother's advice and add a spa or tennis courts (I doubt it, but I still want to know)? So many questions! And I have more, I just feel like moving on.
Personally, I think Rory, even as a character, was stupid for turning Logan away. I don't care that Lorelai tells her that someday she will meet someone and won't want to hesitate; she should have married Logan. Did they not have enough episodes left to pull off a wedding? Maybe not, but even still, they should have added something to the end that told us what happened to everyone and where their lives led them. Short and sweet if they wanted, but I want to know what happened to them. Even though, if they were real, they wouldn't have lived their lives yet, at least not to the end. After all, it has only been a couple of years since the show ended.
Well, I have ranted enough for now. I'll rant more later. Right now I need to go get Conner out of his high-chair...I don't think he's eating anymore...just playing.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Gilmore Girls Gala
Well, the last several days I have been watching the Gilmore Girls. I have to admit that I love the show, thanks to "Aunt" Elise...lol. Sadly, I have been hogging the television. I have offered for Daddy and Alyssa to take control of the remote, but so far, nothing. Anyway, I think Alyssa has started to like the show too.
(I love Lauren Graham. She is an amazing actress and I heard that she is to star in another television show soon. However, I am very depressed that I have no cable, no dish, and no local channels. I would love to give her new show a shot, but if I have no television, I kind of can't!)
Moving on, Conner is starting to not want to take his naps. I put him down today at about 1:30 (his usual time is about 1:00), but he wouldn't sleep. I left him in there, hoping that he would play himself to sleep, like he sometimes does, but at about 2:45, still playing, I went and got him out of bed. He is too young not to take naps. It's actually starting to worry me. Even now, at 10:10 p.m., he is not sleeping. I put him in bed at 9:15, bedtime usually being at 9:00. I don't like it. I do need time to myself. I love my child, but as I am so young, I still feel as though I need me-time. I admit, I feel very selfish about it, but if I don't have time for myself, I go crazy. And Daddy gets all of my pent-up emotions. I don't like it, and he doesn't like it, but I can't exactly take out my frustrations on an 18-month old on the child! Daddy, God bless him, takes it, over and over. I feel so bad about it though, and I am trying to get better at it; it's hard work. Point being, I need me-time and I find it, even when my baby won't sleep. Sad, but true.
School starts in a week. I am so excited. I don't know how well I have conveyed that fact so far, but I love school, and come six days from now, I will be back in a classroom, where I belong...or so I feel. Also, with the beginning of the semester, I will have work again. Being an English major, I am a writing tutor, and I feel that it is a step in the right direction. After all, I want to teach English, right? So how far is tutoring English (writing) from teaching it? Except of course for the fact that that tutoring is usually one-on-one and not one-on-twenty! Anyway, I am going to love this semester.
The soup-making is still going strong. I have come up with another recipe, only, strangly, it consists of ground beef and not chopped meat, like all of the others. Either way, I love making and creating soups. Maybe I should make cooking my hobby, or my back-up for if teaching doesn't work (like it won't...there is always a shortage of teachers around here!). I haven't yet given this recipe a name, and I don't think that is will be as big of a hit as the last one, but I love it and have made it twice in the last twenty-four hours. I love making soup!
The house is starting to feel small. Even if Alyssa weren't here, I would think that it was small. I shouldn't have settled. Of course if I hadn't, my baby would have been born and brought home to an apartment. How bad would that have been!?! At least this way I have good memories about my first home. Anyway, I don't like this house. I want out of it. It's one bathroom, and I hate that you have to wait on someone when you have to go...usually every time!
Well, aparently everyone in this house is bored. Right now, Daddy is on his phone, Alyssa is on another computer, checking her email, and I am sitting here blogging. Guess I'll call it a night. God bless.
(I love Lauren Graham. She is an amazing actress and I heard that she is to star in another television show soon. However, I am very depressed that I have no cable, no dish, and no local channels. I would love to give her new show a shot, but if I have no television, I kind of can't!)
Moving on, Conner is starting to not want to take his naps. I put him down today at about 1:30 (his usual time is about 1:00), but he wouldn't sleep. I left him in there, hoping that he would play himself to sleep, like he sometimes does, but at about 2:45, still playing, I went and got him out of bed. He is too young not to take naps. It's actually starting to worry me. Even now, at 10:10 p.m., he is not sleeping. I put him in bed at 9:15, bedtime usually being at 9:00. I don't like it. I do need time to myself. I love my child, but as I am so young, I still feel as though I need me-time. I admit, I feel very selfish about it, but if I don't have time for myself, I go crazy. And Daddy gets all of my pent-up emotions. I don't like it, and he doesn't like it, but I can't exactly take out my frustrations on an 18-month old on the child! Daddy, God bless him, takes it, over and over. I feel so bad about it though, and I am trying to get better at it; it's hard work. Point being, I need me-time and I find it, even when my baby won't sleep. Sad, but true.
School starts in a week. I am so excited. I don't know how well I have conveyed that fact so far, but I love school, and come six days from now, I will be back in a classroom, where I belong...or so I feel. Also, with the beginning of the semester, I will have work again. Being an English major, I am a writing tutor, and I feel that it is a step in the right direction. After all, I want to teach English, right? So how far is tutoring English (writing) from teaching it? Except of course for the fact that that tutoring is usually one-on-one and not one-on-twenty! Anyway, I am going to love this semester.
The soup-making is still going strong. I have come up with another recipe, only, strangly, it consists of ground beef and not chopped meat, like all of the others. Either way, I love making and creating soups. Maybe I should make cooking my hobby, or my back-up for if teaching doesn't work (like it won't...there is always a shortage of teachers around here!). I haven't yet given this recipe a name, and I don't think that is will be as big of a hit as the last one, but I love it and have made it twice in the last twenty-four hours. I love making soup!
The house is starting to feel small. Even if Alyssa weren't here, I would think that it was small. I shouldn't have settled. Of course if I hadn't, my baby would have been born and brought home to an apartment. How bad would that have been!?! At least this way I have good memories about my first home. Anyway, I don't like this house. I want out of it. It's one bathroom, and I hate that you have to wait on someone when you have to go...usually every time!
Well, aparently everyone in this house is bored. Right now, Daddy is on his phone, Alyssa is on another computer, checking her email, and I am sitting here blogging. Guess I'll call it a night. God bless.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Ringtones
Well, I finally have ringtones for my phone. Daddy found a website that lets you download them directly to your phone for free! I found one for Daddy, that says something like "your husband is calling." I also found one for Uncle Daniel that says simply "Your brother is calling." Found one for my parents too, actually two...one for my mom's cell, and the other for their home phone. I found one for my grandma, one for all of my friends, and one for all of the annoying callers that I want to avoid! I love my new ringtones. Of course, come a month or so from now, I will want to update a few of them, because they are actual songs, and they will get old and no longer fit the group.
Anyway, I went to our WIC appointment today. While we were waiting, which took forever by the way (we were there for over an hour), I noticed that Conner has a new tooth. This one is a molar, and I am suprised I haven't seen it before. I was shocked! Also, I found out that Conner weighs 30 pounds (big shock, not), and that he is just over 31 inches long...although I have no idea how tall that is (the doctor makes him stand now, but they didn't).
Well, other than that, nothing much has happened. We are losing our roommate, and we have decided that we will probably not get another one. She is leaving for good cause; her daughter is coming back, sooner than expected, but she is going to keep the house that she pays way too much for so that her daughter will have her own room. Also, her family is going to help so that the two do not get thrown out. I wouldn't want to pay 880 a month for a house around here; it's not worth it and no one here has that kind of money. Anyway, the last occurance of the day was simply that when I was taking Conner to bed about twenty minutes ago, I triped over the train that his Granness got him...I really hate that thing. I have a bruise on my shin, but Conner was and is fine. I made sure not to drop him or let his head hit anything. I, however, will be in pain for a little while...physical at least. My internal pain will last as long as that train is in the nursery.
Anyway, I went to our WIC appointment today. While we were waiting, which took forever by the way (we were there for over an hour), I noticed that Conner has a new tooth. This one is a molar, and I am suprised I haven't seen it before. I was shocked! Also, I found out that Conner weighs 30 pounds (big shock, not), and that he is just over 31 inches long...although I have no idea how tall that is (the doctor makes him stand now, but they didn't).
Well, other than that, nothing much has happened. We are losing our roommate, and we have decided that we will probably not get another one. She is leaving for good cause; her daughter is coming back, sooner than expected, but she is going to keep the house that she pays way too much for so that her daughter will have her own room. Also, her family is going to help so that the two do not get thrown out. I wouldn't want to pay 880 a month for a house around here; it's not worth it and no one here has that kind of money. Anyway, the last occurance of the day was simply that when I was taking Conner to bed about twenty minutes ago, I triped over the train that his Granness got him...I really hate that thing. I have a bruise on my shin, but Conner was and is fine. I made sure not to drop him or let his head hit anything. I, however, will be in pain for a little while...physical at least. My internal pain will last as long as that train is in the nursery.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Hungry
Well, the food lately has been in short supply. Every time I go to eat something, my son decides he is hungry too. Of course, being Mom, I give him the majority of my meal. The fact that he eats some of everyone’s meals is causing our grocery bill to double. I don’t really have that kind of money, so usually, I will not eat until Conner goes to bed. This leaves me feeling hungry all of the time. I cannot stand the empty feeling in my stomach, but I am trying desperately to save what little money comes in. I even went as far as to try to change my cell phone plan. However, I did not get to save as much as I had wished. I changed the overall plan, but I wanted to remove the data plan on my phone, because I don’t use it; however, my phone is a smartphone, so I had no choice but to keep it. I don’t like that. I don’t want unlimited data on my phone. I don’t want to spend the extra thirty dollars a month on it, especially since I don’t use it.
Because money is tight, I am even trying to get us TANF. I am sure we qualify, but so far, our case worker has not been in the office and when she was she told me that TANF has to be paid back. I find this hard to believe, simply because it is government aid, not a loan! And our family needs the aid. Not excessive aid, but every little bit helps…as it does in most households.
On to happier topics, our friend, Brenda, has a little girl, Aeva, and I cannot wait until Conner is home again. I told Brenda last night that I needed to bring Conner by so that the two children could play together. Neither Brenda nor myself are really the “buddy-buddy” kind of people, but it would be nice for Conner to have a friend. And Brenda and I are already friends, just not in the “girls-always-go-to-the-bathroom-together” kind of way. It’s not true by the way, that girls go to the bathroom together, because these two girls do not! Anyway, Conner got a duplicate for Christmas, and we figure that Aeva would love the second one, seeing as she is only a little older than Conner. We love this family. Granted they are not the families that I see my parents spending time with, but she is Christian, Catholic actually, and he is a firefighter, so automatically you can see where they are a good family. We love them as if they were our own family. We spend time with them, normally every weekend, and talk. The sad thing is that I always send Conner to Paw-paw’s, and Aeva is always at home, so I have met Aeva, but they have never met Conner; thus is the reason I cannot wait until he gets home. I hope to get over to Brenda’s sometime this week and let the children have a “play-date” although I would never call it that.
Right now, Daddy is working. On Saturday. I don’t like when he works, but what can I say. The extra money is great! Anyway, I am waiting for him to come home so that we can get over to our WIC appointment and then to Brenda’s. He introduced me to Brenda, mostly because his friend Ryan introduced them. If it wasn’t for Brenda, I don’t know how I would feel in this group. I’m not going to lie, this group is the kind of group that my parents refused to let me spend time with growing up. It’s not that they are bad people, but they do things that my parents would not and still do not approve of; well, I hate to admit it, but I am one of the people that my parents did and do not like. Oh well, I am old enough now to deal with the problems myself, and to know that kind of behavior is unacceptable around my child. I have to live sometime! But never around Conner. Never! I don’t allow it. I never will. And when he gets to that age, I won’t let him “hang” with these kind of people either. I have to say “Thanks” to my parents, simply because they raised me a thousand times better than they really needed to, and a million times better than most parents raise their children. At least I know how to behave when I have children of my own. I am not like an ex-boyfriend of mine and his parents. I don’t ask my fifteen year old son to come pick me up because I am too drunk to drive! That, and other actions like it, are completely unacceptable, and those people should never have had children!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Starting Spring 2010
My life is great right now! I have been feeling a little under the weather, but other than that I am great! School is going to start in about a week and a half, and I have already started my work! For those who know me, they will know me as a procrastinator. Not anymore! I have finished one complete novel and I am starting my second. I love to read! Actually, last semester, people called me the “English Nerd.” I’ll take it. I do not deny the fact that I love to read, to write and to learn all I can about the English language and Literature. I enjoy every second of it! I am actually taking two Literature courses this spring, and then I will be taking another in the summer, so I tell people I am taking three. I might as well be, seeing as how the summer sessions are only four to six weeks long! I am also taking an education class, that way I can teach as soon as possible. I want to teach, so badly. I cannot wait until I have my own classroom full of students who hate me! What a load of laughs! I do not want my students to hate me, but every time I bring up my plans for the class to Daddy, he always tells me that they will, that I am too tough, and that I would be asking too much of my high school students. Oh well. The whole purpose of high school is to prepare students for the world of college, and none that I have attended met that goal. I attended four high schools, and every one of them failed me in this respect. I was not ready for college when that time came. The only reason I was prepared for my real first semester, was because I took a concurrent class that showed me what college instructors expect from their students. Also, I just love to learn and to study, so the work was not very difficult for me. However, the students who pass through my doors may not be as thrilled to learn as I, and I have to be able to get them to understand that in order to live a productive life outside of school, you have to go to college, and in order to make it through those classes, you have to be able to pass my class. I will be tough, and I will require hard work and dedication to a class that some may not fully understand, but if they are to take classes in college and pass, they will be able to pass mine as well. English is not an easy language, and I will not give them that feeling. If they are in a high school English class, then they understand the fundamentals. Or at least they have been taught, and I will not stand for any misuse. I can’t; we won’t have that kind of time.
Maybe I should teach at a private school.
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