Sick

Today, I feel a little ill. I think it has something to do with getting up and drinking coffee before eating anything. The caffine really messes with my stomach, and on an empty stomach, it may make me feel a little sick. It may also be that I am a little nervous about the semester starting. After all, I am taking really hard classes, and I am taking several of them. I have never really taken hard classes before. Who knows, maybe they won't be as hard as I am imagining them to be.

The last of Alyssa's things are ready to be loaded. Her daughter has come home now, and both of them seem so happy. I am trying to find them a house. They are currently renting and paying way too much. Of course Alyssa has found another house for them to rent that is less than half of what they are currently paying. The thing is that I hate to see her throwing money away. I am searching for a house in Borger that has three bedrooms, a large living room and kitchen, and I want it to have a least 1 and a half bathrooms, but Alyssa doesn't really care if it only has one. I, however, know what it feels like to have to wait on someone for LONG periods of time. (If I have to use the bathroom in the morning, I have to make sure to get up before Daddy. Sometimes, Daddy doesn't need the bathroom in the morning, but when he does, he usually reads or messes with his phone and loses track of time.) I have actually already grown very fond of Ciara (pronounced Kyra), even though little kids drive me insane. She is cute too and just like her mother. She eats constantly and in big quantities. That's alright though; Alyssa is reimbersing us for the food she ate while here. I feel great about it. I actully hate to see her go. Anyway, I don't mind how much she ate if she is going to replace or pay for it. The problem right now is that we have, literally, no food in the house. What we have you can't really eat by itself. We have a little bit of frozen meat, hamburger helper (spaghetti) with no hamburger meat (oops), milk for Conner, burritos that you have to eat with cheese and/or ranch (which we have neither), tator tots and fries (which don't really make a meal for anyone besides Alyssa and Daddy), and condiments. We have some poptarts for Conner's breakfast as well as a little cereal, but other than that, its ramen noodles and mac-and-cheese all the way. We have been living off of that for the last two weeks. I have to admit I feel like I have taken a step back...three years back (that is what Daddy and I lived off of when we first got married).

Anyway, school starts tomorrow, like I have already said. I am a little sad to leave my baby again. He is growing up so fast, and now I don't get to enjoy time with him. The time I will have with him will be short, and even then he will be eating or sleeping. The only days I have with him will be Thursday and part of Friday. Sundays I will have him for the evening, but other than that, our time together will be sporatic. So sad. I still haven't found daycare. No one in Borger has an opening. I hate that. I have to leave him with Daddy's grandparents, and they are getting to old to keep up with an active child; and he is very active (I have a hard time keeping up)! My schedule is going to be crazy this semester. I am hoping to find child care soon. I need to substitute! And unless Pawpaw and Gam'ma want to keep him an extra day every now and then, I can't. Plus, that would mean that I lose another day with my baby. The problem is that I need to substitute in order to keep the job that I love! But I love my baby too! I just don't know what to do. I need to keep the job so that my baby's future will be a little brighter, but I am losing precious moments with him...and these are the moments I don't want to lose. You can see my delima!

This talk is depressing me.

Roommate

Well, so far our roommate has been great. It has been only recently that I have realized that there are small problems that may hurt our friendship.

For one, she eats...a lot! Our monthly grocery bill, which was about 200, was used up within a week! That would have lasted Daddy, Mommy, and Conner a month! Anyway, that is not really the big problem. She eats, yes, but she replaces what she eats, mostly. The problem comes in when I go into the bathroom to take a shower and there is dried puke all over the tub. Not only is she eating all of our food, but she is puking it up and then NOT CLEANING IT! I understand the vomiting, because everyone has health issues, and this is one that Daddy suffers too, but I don't understand leaving it there to have someone else clean!

Another problem is that she is doing all of my chores, which I admit I don't like to do and I appreciate her doing them, but she doesn't know where anything goes, and so she just sticks things everywhere. I will go looking for a glass for something to drink, and I find them, not in the glass cabinet, but with the plates and the bowls. I will go looking for my flat grill, and I find it, not above the refridgerator, but below the pantry! It is very upsetting to have my home turned upside down, but at least she helps with the bills. We need that help. We can't afford anything on our own.

Lastly, she is never here. It upsets me that she is living here and I don't know what she is out doing into all hours of the night. I know that I am not her mother, but it is my house and I don't want her coming home while I am sleeping, high, with my baby sleeping in the next room. I don't know if she gets high, but I know she drinks, and that is one rule I set up early: no drinking with Conner around.

I don't know how well this roommate thing is going to go, but I have to try. She is a great person, but until she gets used to living here, I can't get onto her for putting my things in the wrong place. I have to teach her, or at least tell her and remind her several times before I get really upset. Anyway, I hope that the food issue is worked out quickly, because I hate waking up and finding that Conner has no breakfast because it has been eaten by the only other person in the house who eats them: her.