Today, I feel a little ill. I think it has something to do with getting up and drinking coffee before eating anything. The caffine really messes with my stomach, and on an empty stomach, it may make me feel a little sick. It may also be that I am a little nervous about the semester starting. After all, I am taking really hard classes, and I am taking several of them. I have never really taken hard classes before. Who knows, maybe they won't be as hard as I am imagining them to be.
The last of Alyssa's things are ready to be loaded. Her daughter has come home now, and both of them seem so happy. I am trying to find them a house. They are currently renting and paying way too much. Of course Alyssa has found another house for them to rent that is less than half of what they are currently paying. The thing is that I hate to see her throwing money away. I am searching for a house in Borger that has three bedrooms, a large living room and kitchen, and I want it to have a least 1 and a half bathrooms, but Alyssa doesn't really care if it only has one. I, however, know what it feels like to have to wait on someone for LONG periods of time. (If I have to use the bathroom in the morning, I have to make sure to get up before Daddy. Sometimes, Daddy doesn't need the bathroom in the morning, but when he does, he usually reads or messes with his phone and loses track of time.) I have actually already grown very fond of Ciara (pronounced Kyra), even though little kids drive me insane. She is cute too and just like her mother. She eats constantly and in big quantities. That's alright though; Alyssa is reimbersing us for the food she ate while here. I feel great about it. I actully hate to see her go. Anyway, I don't mind how much she ate if she is going to replace or pay for it. The problem right now is that we have, literally, no food in the house. What we have you can't really eat by itself. We have a little bit of frozen meat, hamburger helper (spaghetti) with no hamburger meat (oops), milk for Conner, burritos that you have to eat with cheese and/or ranch (which we have neither), tator tots and fries (which don't really make a meal for anyone besides Alyssa and Daddy), and condiments. We have some poptarts for Conner's breakfast as well as a little cereal, but other than that, its ramen noodles and mac-and-cheese all the way. We have been living off of that for the last two weeks. I have to admit I feel like I have taken a step back...three years back (that is what Daddy and I lived off of when we first got married).
Anyway, school starts tomorrow, like I have already said. I am a little sad to leave my baby again. He is growing up so fast, and now I don't get to enjoy time with him. The time I will have with him will be short, and even then he will be eating or sleeping. The only days I have with him will be Thursday and part of Friday. Sundays I will have him for the evening, but other than that, our time together will be sporatic. So sad. I still haven't found daycare. No one in Borger has an opening. I hate that. I have to leave him with Daddy's grandparents, and they are getting to old to keep up with an active child; and he is very active (I have a hard time keeping up)! My schedule is going to be crazy this semester. I am hoping to find child care soon. I need to substitute! And unless Pawpaw and Gam'ma want to keep him an extra day every now and then, I can't. Plus, that would mean that I lose another day with my baby. The problem is that I need to substitute in order to keep the job that I love! But I love my baby too! I just don't know what to do. I need to keep the job so that my baby's future will be a little brighter, but I am losing precious moments with him...and these are the moments I don't want to lose. You can see my delima!
This talk is depressing me.
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Monday, January 18, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Gilmore Girls Gala
Well, the last several days I have been watching the Gilmore Girls. I have to admit that I love the show, thanks to "Aunt" Elise...lol. Sadly, I have been hogging the television. I have offered for Daddy and Alyssa to take control of the remote, but so far, nothing. Anyway, I think Alyssa has started to like the show too.
(I love Lauren Graham. She is an amazing actress and I heard that she is to star in another television show soon. However, I am very depressed that I have no cable, no dish, and no local channels. I would love to give her new show a shot, but if I have no television, I kind of can't!)
Moving on, Conner is starting to not want to take his naps. I put him down today at about 1:30 (his usual time is about 1:00), but he wouldn't sleep. I left him in there, hoping that he would play himself to sleep, like he sometimes does, but at about 2:45, still playing, I went and got him out of bed. He is too young not to take naps. It's actually starting to worry me. Even now, at 10:10 p.m., he is not sleeping. I put him in bed at 9:15, bedtime usually being at 9:00. I don't like it. I do need time to myself. I love my child, but as I am so young, I still feel as though I need me-time. I admit, I feel very selfish about it, but if I don't have time for myself, I go crazy. And Daddy gets all of my pent-up emotions. I don't like it, and he doesn't like it, but I can't exactly take out my frustrations on an 18-month old on the child! Daddy, God bless him, takes it, over and over. I feel so bad about it though, and I am trying to get better at it; it's hard work. Point being, I need me-time and I find it, even when my baby won't sleep. Sad, but true.
School starts in a week. I am so excited. I don't know how well I have conveyed that fact so far, but I love school, and come six days from now, I will be back in a classroom, where I belong...or so I feel. Also, with the beginning of the semester, I will have work again. Being an English major, I am a writing tutor, and I feel that it is a step in the right direction. After all, I want to teach English, right? So how far is tutoring English (writing) from teaching it? Except of course for the fact that that tutoring is usually one-on-one and not one-on-twenty! Anyway, I am going to love this semester.
The soup-making is still going strong. I have come up with another recipe, only, strangly, it consists of ground beef and not chopped meat, like all of the others. Either way, I love making and creating soups. Maybe I should make cooking my hobby, or my back-up for if teaching doesn't work (like it won't...there is always a shortage of teachers around here!). I haven't yet given this recipe a name, and I don't think that is will be as big of a hit as the last one, but I love it and have made it twice in the last twenty-four hours. I love making soup!
The house is starting to feel small. Even if Alyssa weren't here, I would think that it was small. I shouldn't have settled. Of course if I hadn't, my baby would have been born and brought home to an apartment. How bad would that have been!?! At least this way I have good memories about my first home. Anyway, I don't like this house. I want out of it. It's one bathroom, and I hate that you have to wait on someone when you have to go...usually every time!
Well, aparently everyone in this house is bored. Right now, Daddy is on his phone, Alyssa is on another computer, checking her email, and I am sitting here blogging. Guess I'll call it a night. God bless.
(I love Lauren Graham. She is an amazing actress and I heard that she is to star in another television show soon. However, I am very depressed that I have no cable, no dish, and no local channels. I would love to give her new show a shot, but if I have no television, I kind of can't!)
Moving on, Conner is starting to not want to take his naps. I put him down today at about 1:30 (his usual time is about 1:00), but he wouldn't sleep. I left him in there, hoping that he would play himself to sleep, like he sometimes does, but at about 2:45, still playing, I went and got him out of bed. He is too young not to take naps. It's actually starting to worry me. Even now, at 10:10 p.m., he is not sleeping. I put him in bed at 9:15, bedtime usually being at 9:00. I don't like it. I do need time to myself. I love my child, but as I am so young, I still feel as though I need me-time. I admit, I feel very selfish about it, but if I don't have time for myself, I go crazy. And Daddy gets all of my pent-up emotions. I don't like it, and he doesn't like it, but I can't exactly take out my frustrations on an 18-month old on the child! Daddy, God bless him, takes it, over and over. I feel so bad about it though, and I am trying to get better at it; it's hard work. Point being, I need me-time and I find it, even when my baby won't sleep. Sad, but true.
School starts in a week. I am so excited. I don't know how well I have conveyed that fact so far, but I love school, and come six days from now, I will be back in a classroom, where I belong...or so I feel. Also, with the beginning of the semester, I will have work again. Being an English major, I am a writing tutor, and I feel that it is a step in the right direction. After all, I want to teach English, right? So how far is tutoring English (writing) from teaching it? Except of course for the fact that that tutoring is usually one-on-one and not one-on-twenty! Anyway, I am going to love this semester.
The soup-making is still going strong. I have come up with another recipe, only, strangly, it consists of ground beef and not chopped meat, like all of the others. Either way, I love making and creating soups. Maybe I should make cooking my hobby, or my back-up for if teaching doesn't work (like it won't...there is always a shortage of teachers around here!). I haven't yet given this recipe a name, and I don't think that is will be as big of a hit as the last one, but I love it and have made it twice in the last twenty-four hours. I love making soup!
The house is starting to feel small. Even if Alyssa weren't here, I would think that it was small. I shouldn't have settled. Of course if I hadn't, my baby would have been born and brought home to an apartment. How bad would that have been!?! At least this way I have good memories about my first home. Anyway, I don't like this house. I want out of it. It's one bathroom, and I hate that you have to wait on someone when you have to go...usually every time!
Well, aparently everyone in this house is bored. Right now, Daddy is on his phone, Alyssa is on another computer, checking her email, and I am sitting here blogging. Guess I'll call it a night. God bless.
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